LEAF LIFE - Part 3

May 2022

A Few Lessons In all our little excursions, we have emerged with some useful lessons and useless philosophies.

1. Never wear shorts when venturing into the woods.

2. Take with you associates who are, or pretend to be, more courageous than you.

3. Our hands are quite leaflike. Our arm is the petiole.

4. If humans are good at playing dumb, weevils are better at playing dead (by lying motionless on their backs; you step away and they spring back to action.)

5. There are many more spiders and beetles than humans, and more ants than spiders and beetles. (Spiders, incidentally, are non-insect arthropods.)

6. Only two things qualify for that ‘creepy-crawly’ coinage: the ‘breaking news’ ticker, called a crawler, and yes it can be quite creepy; and the movements of a human infant. So let’s be respectful and call insects just that.

7. Even large wasps with sharp stingers are terrified of tiny red ants. To put it in perspective, if you were a red ant, the wasp would look like a dragon to you. Size matters, but character matters more.

8. If you run headlong into a cobweb, and you certainly will, flailing your arms and looking like a jellyfish on cannabis will achieve nothing except amusement to the spider and other people.

9. Most creatures out there are busy mating, feeding, or saving their lives. Words like ‘serene’ and ‘spectacular’ come more readily if all the nature you see is only on your screen. In reality, it is quite precarious out there.

10. Life, after all, doesn’t come with a warranty card. Even if it did, you know how warranty cards work.

The last I had learned about insects was in school in the biology class, and for one reason: the subject was compulsory. As Mark Twain’s contemporary, Grant Allen (and not Mark Twain himself), had suggested, it’s best to not let schooling interfere with your education.

Now, after several decades of not having any use of that class in my life, I have begun to discover the real invaluableness of this world.

I do not aspire to become an entomologist, but I would love to connect with a few, specially after whatever little I have seen and read in the past few days.

Fledgling curiosities have led me to fascinating articles on: insect-centred circular food economies where resources are recycled; the dwindling population of both insects and entomologists; and an essay called The Economic Value of Ecological Services Provided by Insects.

Here’s to all the truly wondrous and useful creatures out there – specially the arthropods, including insects, and the entomologists who study them.

I shall now clean my monopods and get ready for my next excursion with my fellow bipeds, one of who is currently finishing an elaborate and emotional process of colouring and combing his moustache.

That’s how seriously he treats insects.

Note: Only humans were harmed in the making of this project (well, attempts were made). No un-human entity was disturbed, offended or harmed – except for those three persistent mosquitoes.

Please feel free to correctly identify the creatures. My identifications are based on books, Google Lens, and a rush to impress.

~*~